Tiny things...

This morning, filled with determination and a bit of frustration I got up, made a cup of tea, picked up my camera and went out to the patio to watch birds. The goal was to get a sharper, better photo of our greedy woodpecker. Several failed attempts later, I resigned myself to the knowledge that no matter how I shoot the photo, the lens won't offer me the end result I'm looking for. Happily, my husband asked me, "What would a better lens cost?" Inwardly giddy at the prospect of a new, better zoom lens, I told him I would do some research. 

Watching the birds eat their peanuts while the sun came up was a nice way to start the day. It also gave me the opportunity to see some of the newest blossoms in our garden. My landlady is like my mom, she works some kind of magic with flowers that I could never hope to achieve. Here and there on an almost daily basis something new blooms. Today, while waiting for another bird to come along and pose for the camera I noticed these very tiny, pink flowers. Before I knew it, I had removed the zoom lens that repeatedly disappoints me, snapped on the macro and was taking photos of my discovery.

“A photograph is a moral decision taken in one eighth of a second. ”  - Salman Rushdie

I'm not entirely certain there is any noticeable improvement in my edits and shots just yet, but...I did have the occasion to go through my photo files the other day looking for a specific picture and what I have noticed is that what I was proud of a year ago, even 4 months ago, is now the source of some embarrassment. So, at least in part, I can assure myself that I am indeed...improving. And, after all, that's the the point, to evolve. Photography allows me a chance to slow down, take my time, and concentrate. As ridiculous as this will sound, it's a bit of a meditative state for me. When focusing on the subject, I have no cares about the worries in the back of my mind, I forget the hurts I am working through and I just focus on the moment. The photo is far from perfect, it's not as good as someone else's work. And that doesn't matter. For me, my photos are an exercise in learning about myself. 

So, well...yeah, I guess I had a bit of an epiphany today. This isn't about my photos improving, it's about taking time to observe life, my life. Please stop rolling those eyes...I know how hokey I can be. At least I am aware of it and can have a good laugh at my own expense. 

“To photograph is to hold one's breath, when all faculties converge to capture fleeting reality. It's at that precise moment that mastering an image becomes a great physical and intellectual joy.” 

- Henri Cartier-Bresson.